One of the biggest fears holding us back from trying out new things is the fear of failure. This is the main reason we stop ourselves, consciously or subconsciously.
Is the obvious one, but we don`t hear much about the fear of success even though is also present in many people.
Our lives are controlled and led by our beliefs. We have beliefs about everything, about us, about other people, about luck and God, about the world in general. Some of these are obvious and some are not, many of them are running subconsciously and we never stop to question them if they support us or not.
In the world of coaching we know that people who have self-confidence or/and self-esteem problems many times have as a core belief one of these two: “I’m not good enough” or “I don’t deserve it”.
Both beliefs have the same consequence, are holding us back. But there is a big difference. People whose core belief is “I’m not good enough” will be afraid of failure and people who hold the belief “I don’t deserve it”, will be afraid of success. Either way needs to be cleared out.
A month ago, I was called up by a young sport woman completely desperate. She has been playing table-tennis abroad, which has been a big dream of hers. But lately she has been losing all her matches. She was panicking, hopeless trying to pull herself together. She tried everything she could, but fear was gradually overcoming her. We started our work together. In about 20 minutes it was clear to me that she was afraid of success, so subconsciously started sabotaging herself. Something activated it. We started working on releasing this fear, knowing that she would have the last championship of the season the upcoming weekend. We did our session and she went to play. She won all her matches that weekend and since. She regained her confidence and everything went back to normal.
Sometimes we only need just that, just a little help at the right time. Somebody who can put us back on the track.
Such a small thing but so powerful.