Today I would like to share the story of a client of mine. It’s a powerful story that will help you see and understand how our past experiences can influence and impact our present life.
I mainly help women to open up for true love and create amazing, loving relationships but when a man comes to see me I happily accept to help as no matter our gender our pain and hurts are the same and we all crave love, importance and acceptance.
This man is in a happy and loving relationship but he feels that he is very far from his highest potential. His financial situation is a disaster. He would like to provide a better life to his love partner but he doesn’t really feel the ambition, the power behind his intentions, that innate masculine fire. There is a consistent fight inside of him which leaves him angry, frustrated, empty and tired.
When we started working together he told me that he used to be very assertive and confident. In high school he used to be the leader of his group of friends. After only a couple of sessions we were able to locate the exact time where he lost himself.
He was 20. He was in a happy relationship. They were planning to move together, they had many amazing and promising plans for the future. He found a job to finance their plans. One day, the girlfriend suddenly left him for another man. He felt shocked, confused, rejected, worthless and unable to cope. He was depressed for one year.
During this time he came to an important conclusion: “It isn't worth it!”
My efforts were not paid off, I can be rejected at any time so it just isn't worth it.
Without being aware of it, he got trapped in this trauma.
He lived the rest of his life in this one belief, “it just isn’t worth the effort.”
He realized immediately that since that time he wasn’t able to connect deeply with any of his later girlfriends, to the point of sabotaging all the relationships which were becoming more serious because of the fear of being abandoned and rejected.
This was the reason for never being able to plan for the future, keeping him in a constant survival state, being trapped into this “just getting by” mode.
And so his life was an exact mirror of this belief as our beliefs are the reasons behind our actions.
After the session he said: “Oh my God, I feel like a new man. I found again who I really am. I was lost, locked in my pain and misery.
Now I’m ready to truly live!”
Later he called me just to tell me that his love for his girlfriend has noticeably intensified as fear, worry and insecurity left his body.
These stories always leave me shocked and puzzled. It happens over and over again but I can’t get used to them.
It shows us how powerful are our unsolved past experiences, trapped emotions, subconscious beliefs when it comes to creating a happy and fulfilling life.
There is no need for years and years of therapy, change can happen easily and naturally when we are ready and determined to take responsibility for our happiness.
No matter if you are single or in a relationship you can find and feel more love. It all starts with you, me, us.
We heal, we open up, we feel, we love, we share, we make this world a better place.